The Sister Letters

HELLO, KINGDOM WOMAN Biblical advice on how to navigate every relationship in your life... (parents, friends, crushes, boyfriends, husbands...) Read to the end! 

To My Sisters

Relationships are at the centre of our lives. The hierarchy goes like this:1. Your relationship with God2. Your relationship with Yourself and3. Your relationship with Others. In the previous letters we explored the first 2 relationships. Now, we dive more into how to manage your relationship with other people in your life. Since we can't explore everything in this short Sister Letter, I want to address 6 categories of people in your life and the number one advice I can give you in having the best relationship with them.Your Father and MotherNo matter your relationship with your parents, Your Heavenly Father who loves you abundantly has allowed them to be the ones who would bring you forth. My advice here is to honour them with a heart of gratitude for the good things and forgive them if they fall short in their role knowing that they are human beings also. Pray for them often, and find opportunities to be a good daughter because the blessing of a parent holds much weight in the eyes of our God.Your FriendsA true friend in your life is someone who is encouraging you to become the woman you are called to be. This may be through inspiration, support, prayer, etc. They are someone who shows kindness to you and has your best interest at heart. The best friends will lead you closer to God and challenge you to be better everyday. My advice with these friendships is to cherish them and pray over them regularly. If you don't have these friendships in your life, that's ok - continue to pray that God will bring them into your life and position yourself in spaces to befriend women like this. That is why I started this community, I would like us to have events (in-person and online) so we can grow as Kingdom Women together.We have 6,000 women in our community. If you would like us to have Kingdom Women meet-ups and if you would like to be part of a committee to help make these happen, let me know by replying to this email or shooting me a DM on IG @creatortochi!We will look at how to make this happen so more Kingdom friendships can be established! Your Old FriendsThese are the friends that are no longer compatible with who you are becoming. They may be friends you grew up with but your lives have gone down different paths. My number one advice here is to not feel guilty that this relationship no longer exists. It is fine (in fact, advisable) to move away from old friendships that distract or conflict with the woman you have been called to be. The Bible is clear that two cannot walk together unless they agree. Continue to pray for them and when you see them extend love to them, but do not be tempted back into old ways by old friends.Your Dating ProspectsFor those of us on the dating scene - sis, how are you doing, are you ok? I know it can feel like the ghetto! My advice for you with any man you are considering is to practice sexual abstinence. Sis do not give your cookie to a man who has not yet honoured you as his wife. I know it can be a challenge to wait but trust me, the right person will make the wait worth it and you will be free from all the emotional and spiritual trauma of hook-up culture. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." Any man who doesn't want to wait until marriage for you can leave. You will know that he values you for so much more when he is willing and desiring also to wait until marriage.When dating, you want to know that you are compatible spiritually and mentally. Ask him these questions: where do you see yourself 5 years from now? what is your relationship with God like? what is your relationship with your family like? Who inspires you the most? What do you look for in a woman? What scares you? When you start your own family in the future, what do you envision it to be like? These are the types of questions you need to ask that man! Remember, the man you choose will lead you and your family. Be sure you are choosing a man you can follow to where he's going (let the church say Amen!).Your BaeFor those of us already in relationships, my number one advice is to cover your relationship in prayer as much as possible. Speak often with him about your dreams and vision, and be sure that they align with his. Introduce opportunities to study the Word together and grow together. Try to have a shared project or hobby that you can both enjoy together. Do not be afraid to ask for what you want from your relationship but as a pro tip, you will always get the best response from your man when you give something before you ask (this works well with all relationships).For example, if you would like him to take you somewhere nice for dinner, say to him "honey, I love how thoughtful and romantic you are (giving a genuine compliment), I'd love to get dressed up for you and go somewhere nice for dinner (the request)" or another example if you want to start reading the Bible together, you can say "boo, one of my favourite things about you is your desire to be the best man you can be for yourself and the people you love (giving a genuine compliment) I would love for us to set aside time every evening to read the Bible together because I think it will make us both stronger spiritually (the request)" - you see how it works? I've seen this small communication technique work time and time again! Try it and let me know.Your Acquaintances Lastly, you will be meeting new people everyday in all the different areas of your life. Developing your communication skills and not being afraid to start conversations with people will take you a long way. If you want to be a woman of influence, then learning how to speak, not only to acquaintances but everyone in your life, will be a great blessing to you. I will talk more about this in future content, but I encourage you to read up on communication skills and explore this if it resonates with you. I often also ask the Holy Spirit to fill me with confidence and boldness in my interactions, and to give me discernment The challenge for today is to implement the advice in the relationships that are relevant to you from the list above. Look for opportunities to improve your relationships and remember that you are a vessel pouring out the spirit of God onto everyone you encounter. Prayer: Heavenly Father, we ask that you give us wisdom and favour in our relationships. Help us to love others well and be yielded vessels for your glory. In Jesus Name, Amen <3Meditation Verses: Hebrews 10:25 | 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 | Amos 3:3 Thank you for your patience with today's letter ladies! I was down with a nasty flu last weekend, but I am on the mend. Look forward to the last letter of this series next weekend!With all my love,Tochi